If a friend, family member or partner ever tells you that they have experienced sexual violence or if they are doubting that they consented to any kind of sexual activities, there are some ways you can support their healing journey and help them cope.

It can take a long time for someone who has experienced sexual violence to talk about what happened. When they do disclose it is important for you to listen to them, to believe what they tell you and to reassure them that it is not their fault. No matter when or what happened, the only person responsible is the perpetrator.

It’s important to understand that survivors can experience a range of different reactions and emotions. They may feel calm and controlled, or feel nothing or numb. They may feel anger, guilt or worthlessness and they may feel suicidal. These are a natural response to their experience. There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way for a survivor to react – and whichever way they do react is ok. You can read more about how your body reacts to trauma here.

Many people feel guilt or blame, even if they were not around, for not stopping the violence. Finding out that your partner, friend or family member has been raped or sexually assaulted may be very frightening and distressing. Being affected by what you hear can lead to you experiencing some of the same after effects as the survivor, sometimes called ‘secondary’ or ‘vicarious trauma’.

We understand that it can be really difficult for you too. We are able to offer up to 6 sessions for friends, family and partners of survivors.

To ensure confidentiality, survivors and friends/family/partners will see different support workers.

HOW TO REFER TO US

You can contact us for support for yourself or for someone else in your family or you can ask someone you know, like a parent, friend, agency, GP or the college or your school, to refer you. Our referral form is in English, Polish & Easy Read. You can download the forms here.

Moray Rape Crisis is a confidential service that is independent from social services, the police, and other official agencies. We will not tell you what to do or judge your actions.

Our normal office hours are 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday.

• Call: 01343 550 407
• Email: contact@morayrapecrisis.scot

WHAT IS SEXUAL VIOLENCE?

Sexual violence means any form of unwanted sexual contact. You may hear different words for the varying forms of sexual violence such as rape, sexual assault, childhood sexual abuse or sexual harassment. Other forms of sexual violence include stalking, sexual exploitation, forced marriage, image based abuse and organised and ritual abuse.

The diagram here shows a number of the different forms of sexual violence.

Everyone is affected differently by sexual violence. There is no right or wrong way to feel. How you feel, and what you want to do, depend on your own experience.

The impacts of sexual abuse experienced by people are often far-reaching across all aspects of their lives, including emotional, mental and physical health, social and family relationships, and education and employment.

You can find out more about sexual violence here. Plus, Rape Crisis Scotland answers some of the FAQs about sexual violence here.