September Sexual Violence Prevention Blog

Hello everyone, and welcome to the Prevention Blog. I wanted to do something a little different this month and occasionally over the coming months; and that is to focus on a particular theme, word or issue at hand, and delve into it a little deeper. This month, I’d like to focus on Microaggressions. I am really interested in all aspects of Gender-based Violence (GBV) and I like to learn about various topics – they all link in with one another and all are an important part of our Prevention work here at MRC.

So what are microaggressions? Here is a little explanation about it – the following information has come various texts online, training I have undertaken, and my values as a Prevention Worker:

As we go about our everyday lives, there’s noise around us constantly. People talk all the time and it is usually what you’d expect in everyday conversation. However, we often find that hidden in all that noise is something that we tend to sweep under the rug. Little remarks that fly under the radar, little comments so common that you have almost certainly heard them before…

“You throw like a girl. Boys don’t cry, so suck it up. You look good, have you lost weight? Wow, you are really smart for a [insert group name here]”.

All these phrases and awkward situations are probably at least a little familiar to you; whether you have experienced them first hand, seen them from afar or maybe heard them in a slightly different way.

These little biases and prejudices hidden in everyday conversation are what’s known as microaggressions.

Microaggressions are spoken words that reflect and show people’s inner prejudice.

The people who are the targets of these microaggressions are harmed by them, mentally, emotionally and physically.

So, despite what many people may think, these ‘little remarks/jokes/bants’ do matter and do need to addressed and challenged, so we can all realise that they aren’t acceptable and people will not continue to harm others.

Read on to understand how to stop these microaggressions...

How can we stop these microaggressions when they are so commonplace and yet so harmful?

STEP ONE: firstly, we need to ACKNOWLEDGE that there is a problem to begin with. Microaggressions aren’t just rare, harmless comments, they are forms of prejudice that are all too familiar to countless people and can have horrible effects.

Luckily, we have already begun step one with what we are discussing and thinking about here today.

STEP TWO: we CANNOT IGNORE them any longer. The very reason these sorts of comments get perpetuated is because we allow them to. Too often people brush them off as jokes or well-meaning comments, they even go as far as to tell others to stop being so sensitive when they are offended. This makes it seem like these sorts of comments are okay, acceptable or even normal.

To avoid or ignore them, is the wrong approach. Instead, assert yourself in a way that acknowledges your care, concern and compassion for the issue. You don’t need to be argumentative, nasty or mean. You don’t need to fall out with anyone. But if it feels safe to do so, challenge your friends and help create a safe space for them in that moment, to be able to reflect, learn and potentially think differently.

I know this can be hard to do…with the sheer amount of people that says these things and defend these types of remarks, it can be hard to speak out. But, no matter who you are, it is vital that you do.

At MRC, we recognise many people can be affected through microaggressions and are here to help support you on your healing journey. During the Sexual Violence Prevention Program workshops within all of Moray’s High Schools, I am keen to help our Young People learn more about topics like this and to help them develop the skills to create and maintain healthy boundaries and behaviours within their friendships and relationships as appropriate.

- Harry

The Sexual Violence Prevention Programme runs throughout the year during a High School’s PSE lessons. For more information about the programme, please visit our website.